you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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