I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
