Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
