Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
