She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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