dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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