There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
