that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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