It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
