Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
