The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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