Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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