Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
