i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
sarcasm needs its own font
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize