But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
