I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
