Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
