Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'm like, not good at living.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
