...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
No subtext here. People are naked.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
How naked do you want me to be?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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