he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
