I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
