Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
