Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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