i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
