i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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