1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I have feelings that need drinking.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
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