im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
