I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
