I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
