i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
