I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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