I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Randomize
