Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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