Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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