his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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