If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
false alarm. still invincible.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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