Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
