Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize
