I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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