I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You ruined the universe
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
