I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
