Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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