are you still at the devil's house?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
