I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
