Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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