i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
