so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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