Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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