It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
