shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
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