How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
