but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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