the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
