3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize