There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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