I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
