So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
