when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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