I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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