Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
