I don't usually arrange sex via text message
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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