the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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