Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize