she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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