i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
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