Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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