I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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