do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
