that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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