My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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