found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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