Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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