Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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